Bangkok & Beyond with Billy

I’m up early for brekkie, and the choice is good, a mix of Asian, Continental and the good old u s of A. Not complimentary but a very reasonable 199 baht to add to the £18 a night very comfortable apartment style room. Last night was a quiet one comparatively speaking, one I can gladly say, passed off without incident. A bit of grub, Mexican & a few beers Singa, Thai all followed by a bit of live music and more liquid lubrication. Soon a taxi for an early night, just like a good boy should.The BTS stops at midnight, home before then would be sacrilege in this city, one that deserves a certain amount of respect.

Beep, beep a message from Billy he’s on the BTS. Yippeee soon to be reunited with a very good friend of more than 25 years. This meeting shall be only our 2nd in the last 7 years. The previous being about 2 years back. That was in Buri Ram near the jungle. This time we are right in the middle of the fucking thing, the jungle that is. The one that’s made from concrete. Bring it on, best get the beers in. Ready for the boy, from the city in the sky.

After an embrace, which is possibly a little too affectionate, but hey this is the modern world. A good catch up along with reminiscing follows as we’ve both had lots happening privately lately. Soon however we are at the Nana Plaza entertainment complex. Laughing as we enter about Billy’s first visit. It was myself, Billy and another Valley Commando, Wosco. That was a mad night, just before the millenium celebrations it was. This city is overload for the senses, we were ripe for a fleecing, especially due to our mental state not being helped by the 36 hours it took to arrive thanks to ‘Balkan Airlines, 4 stops & a Tupolov’ fuck that for a game of soldiers again. That night was long and expensive, but all in the spirit of a good fucking time.

Now it’s different, even tho’ nana is the biggest sex entertainment complex on earth. It’s lost its appeal, at least to me. Moscow strip clubs are awesome in comparison. Even in Cardiff the girls can dance proper. Ok back home and in Russia you may not be able to get a blow job under the table for a fiver, but I’ve grown up now. If Billy hasn’t however, this is going to be hilarious. Let’s find out, thru the heavy curtain we go into the first den of inequity of the evening.

First timers get swamped by girls wanting drinks n the like. We obviously look bored as have trouble ordering a few singa’s. The bar is dingy and the girls not too pretty. We move on through another curtain. Ahhhh that’s better, more girls, less clothes and a section of stage where Billy is just heading, which if had a sign would be flashing and read ‘the girls with the biggest tits area’. Apart from initially looking like a monkey from his village, with tongue lolling about. Billy too has grown up as he’s “only interested in seeing some nice boobs n ass” it’s only fair and a must I suppose. This is Bangkok after all. Please don’t think I’m totally bored tho’ some of the boob jobs are fantastic, well at least they look it 😉 and after enquiring using billy’s valley Thai, they only cost about two grand sterling a pair. A fraction of the cost at home. A mental note is made, in case the kazak princess ever needs a boost later in life. I doubt that tho’ as right now she’s perfect. But hey you never know do you, always best to be prepared.

We are ready to move on, having not even visited a lady boy bar. It’s strange this growing up shit. I suggest RCA an area with a collection of clubs n bars. It’s non sleaze, top Djs & crazy light shows. It’s where the locals go to bop. Billy’s having non of it, Soi cowboy next. A much more relaxed area but still has more sleaze on show than you can shake a stick at. We walk the strip, stop for a bite to eat, walk back, all the way without even entering any of the venues. “You’ve fucking changed” is laughed into my ear as we enter the music bar on the corner.

The following morning we are soon on the BTS, to get to the bus, to Si Thep which is a 4 hour journey. Cool, it’s closer than his last place, maybe it will be less jungle? I doubt it.

Billy’s girl seems very nice, a big step forward from his last one who was a complete nutter. Now I know nutter is quite a strong word when referring to another person, so you can make your own mind up. On one occasion whilst staying at their home, which he’d built, on her land – She cut all the power, tele & controller leads after just one game of FIFA on a brand new PS 2, I got him as a gift. Yes as I was saying, super nuts indeed.

This one is a definite upgrade, she’s even booked, and paid for my room which apart from the bed being as hard as a slab of Welsh slate is great. What more can you expect for £8 a night. An equivalent room in the ‘diff would set you back £80. I’m really happy for him as she’s not just the latest girl. It’s his wife and they look good together. Well done Billy my son.

The town is nice enough but there really is fuck all there, apart from the odd outdoor food stall and karaoke bars. They both have good jobs tho’ & with fresh produce cheap as chips what more do you need? It’s much much better than being stuck up the valleys I can tell you, now an area without any industry that is spiralling into a drug depressed zone, with too many, feeling too sorry for themselves on the rock n roll. Thinking how bad they have it? Wake up they want to, fucking scroungers, need think how they’d live without the help of the stupid British state.

Yes Billy is doing much better than ok that’s for sure. I’m disappointed in him tho’ that he’s about as useful with his new Nikon DSLR, as I am on a fucking motorbike. Therefore the second day is spent getting him up-to speed with shutter speed, aperture & ISO. Thankfully with the help of some very Irrifkintating, yet knowledgable yanks on YouTube. He promises to keep up with his lessons. I agree to send some shots from Bangkok, so he can check my skills. I’ve been a pentaxian since 2009 and consider myself ‘not bad’ at knocking off a few fotos like.

I’m off again, on the bus for the leisurely journey back to the bright lights. It’s Monday the princess travels tomorrow, need skype her before she sets off. She’s got a hell of a journey ahead, which starts with an 8 hour taxi ride across the Kazak steppe. Yes Brits 8 (eight) hours by road, if u can call it that. You feckers moan if your train is 5 mins late, or the traffic jam delays you fifteen.

Two more nights. The challenge is not yet complete. If Billy thinks I’ve changed it should be easy. Let’s just not get complacent tho’ is it!

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